Cosmic Chronicle
|
News you won't find anywhere else | Vol 2, Issue 18 -- 09.15.2009 |
Trouble
in paradise
Jacko’s
crypt neighbors up in arms
By
Krystal BallStaff channel
The Tinseltown legends are longtime residents of the posh Holly Terrace section of the Great Mausoleum at famed
Blond bombshell Harlow adds: “It’s every girl’s dream to spend eternity with And Fields, whose disdain for children is legendary, seems the most upset. “Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad,” he says. “But this upstart impresario Jackson loves both. It’s disgusting!” According to the late actors and other residents of the posh posthumous community,
“The most loving thing to do is to share your coffin with someone,” says Jackson, who tragically died on June 25 after the alien inhabiting his body abruptly left [see July 1 Cosmic Chronicle]. Gable, Harlow and Fields have all lodged complaints with the Deceased Screen Actor’s Guild as well as the Forest Lawn Mausoleum Owners’ Association over “This place is beginning to seem like |
Octomom
wants Jon & Kate’s 8
By
Richard HeadEntertainment correspondent
Nadya, the so-called Octomom who remarkably gave birth last January to a record eight babies in a bold bid for fame and fortune, filed a petition in a “My octuplets already have a six-figure showbiz contract,” boasts Nadya, “Can Jon and Kate say that?”
And that may be a tight squeeze in the four-bedroom, three-bath house reportedly bought for her by the celebrity website Radar Online in exchange for seven months of exclusive filming rights. “The more the merrier,” Nadya says about the potential family expansion. “And I might even get Radar Online to buy me a bigger house!” In her court petition, Nadya claims that the adult stars of Jon & Kate Plus 8 are too wrapped up with extramarital lovers and talk show interviews to raise their kids right.
Meanwhile, she points out she has been in a steady relationship for a personal record of five months – to Spider-Man’s multi-limbed arch-enemy, Dr. Otto Octavius. “Otto may be an evil lunatic bent on conquering Earth, but with all those tentacles he’s also a heck of a babysitter,” she says. “And the kids just love to watch him blow things up.” |
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Note:
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