The
Three-Minute Rejection
01.21.16 -- Call
the
Guinness people! I think I just set a world record by having a freelance story proposal rejected in three minutes.
As a
writer, I have vast experience with rejections. Over the years, my book
manuscripts, movie scripts, short stories, kids’ tales,
article ideas and other
queries have been shot down by hundreds of publishers, editors and
agents via personal
notes, form letters or postcards, email and simple non-responses.
Usually they
take weeks at the least, on rare occasions a few days, but never
minutes.
However,
that all changed when I queried You&Me
Magazine, a Web-based entity
dedicated to posting the “most compelling stories about the
human side of any
kind of medical condition.” I thought the story of how an
alternative healer
helped my son recover from an acute asthma attack that had baffled
mainstream
docs would be right up their alley, and I had it mostly written from a
testimonial
I’d penned for the healer a decade ago.
I spent
about an hour transforming the testimonial into a gripping narrative
and
another 15 minutes composing a query email, including an excerpt from
the
piece, as requested, that ran about 500 words. I sent it off at 11:39
a.m.,
figuring if they took the bait it was an easy $200. I then went to the
kitchen
and fixed myself a bowl of cereal, which I brought back to my desk in
my home
office. Lo and behold, a missive from You&Me editor EW Oates
was already awaiting
me.
“Hi
Mr.Greenberg,” it said. “Thank you for considering
our magazine for your work. Unfortunately
we cannot use your queried submission but we do appreciate your taking
the time
and effort to get in touch with us.”
It was sent
at 11:42 a.m. The fact that it was not a robo-reply makes the feat even
more
remarkable. EW Oates was able to receive, process and personally respond
to my
query in under three minutes. So I’ve
managed to take rejection to a new level. Although I must admit my
marketing
skills may need a little fine-tuning, it feels good to be best at
something. Let's call the folks at Guinness. What's the worst they
can do?
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