Cosmic Chronicle
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News you won't find anywhere else...on Earth |
Editor-in-chief: Gary Greenberg |
President lauds 'laureate of
shame' Trump
wins Nobel
Booby Prize
By
Joe MedeaInternational correspondent STOCKHOLM.--In a stunning turn of events, U.S. President Donald J. Trump has won the first-ever Nobel Booby Prize for his historically catastrophic contributions to science, literature and world peace.
“We felt that we needed to create a whole new category to fully appreciate President Trump's all-out assault on the planet, social norms, common sense and reality,” says Nobel committee spokesperson Sven Lars Svensson. “Sadly, he is a booby prize for all of humankind and should consider this prize to be a laureate of shame.” Instead of the traditional gold medallion and 9 million Swedish kroner awarded to Nobel laureates, Trump was given a lump of coal. “Trump deserved to get something that is as worthless and destructive to the planet as he is,” says Svensson. “They both create way too much hot air.” Trump was dishonored for his contempt for science, total disregard for literature and propensity for causing discord wherever he goes. “Even his hair breaks the laws of physics,” Svensson points out. “And his poorly punctuated, poorly spelled, moronic tweets are an insult to both the English language and the intelligence of the American public, though nearly half of them still don’t get it.” Trump got a call from the Stockholm-based committee at 5 a.m. Friday while he was watching reruns of his hit reality show, Celebrity Apprentice, and he immediately started jumping up and down on his bed, according to a source who was present but wishes to remain anonymous until getting a book deal. Then Trump tweeted: “I won a Noble Prize!!! I WON a NOBLE PRIZE! Take that Obama!!! NAH-NEE-NAH-NAH!!! The incorrect spelling of the prestigious award was later corrected. |
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