Cosmic Cafe logo

Cosmic Chronicle
News you won't find anywhere else Vol 3, Issue 10 -- 06.01.2010
2nd Anniversary Special!!!
To celebrate our 2nd Anniversary, we have a special treat:
The Cosmic Chronicle's Top 10
articles of all time (or at least our time)
It all began on June 1, 2008 with a bombshell
  story about a deadly threat to our planet...
Sinister plot to conquer Earth
Aliens clone George W. Bush
By Ace Sweeney
Intergalactic Correspondent
ROSWELL, N.M. -- Aliens have devised a diabolical new strategy to conquer the planet Earth – clone President Bush!
    Seeing how much damage one George W. Bush has done to the world, the aliens believe that a few hundred of them could wipe out all human life in a matter of years, if not months, says the extraterrestrial expert who ripped the lid off the shocking scheme.Bush baby
    “In seven years as president, George W. Bush has wreaked havoc on the environment, upset the delicate balance of power in the Middle East and brought scientific research to a standstill,” notes University of Roswell extraterrestrial studies professor Dr. Hans Klaatu. “Obviously, the planet can’t take any more like him and hope to survive.”
    The plot was uncovered after Klaatu intercepted a transmission from the ETs’ home planet in the Sirius star system. He tells the Cosmic Chronicle that the aliens plan to clone Bush from a single viable brain cell.
    “Even though the aliens’ cloning techniques are far superior to anything we humans can even imagine, to accomplish their goal they need to clone a viable brain cell from the cerebral cortex to replicate a grown adult with the same memories, beliefs and capacity for catastrophic mistakes as the original,” explains Klaatu.
    Although some people have questioned whether Bush has any viable brain cells, one cloning expert confirms that he must.
    “If he didn’t, he wouldn’t even be able to do what Dick Cheney tells him,” says Dr. Alfred E. Einstein, executive director of the prestigious Acme Stem Cell Institute in San Francisco. “On the other hand, it could leave him even more mentally crippled. While most people wouldn’t even notice one missing brain cell, Bush obviously doesn’t have a lot to spare.”
    Klaatu adds that the aliens’ plan skirts intergalactic laws designed to prevent advanced species from disrupting the evolution of lower life forms, such as human beings.
    “With their advanced technologies and WPDs (weapons of planetary destruction), the aliens could easily wipe out all life on earth in a matter of minutes,” says Klaatu. “But that would violate the prime directive of the United Federation of Galaxies.
    “This plan is insidiously clever. The Bush clones will cause our civilizations to destroy each other, and any societies left over would no doubt self-destruct under the influence of a Bush. It will appear to be just another example of natural selection.”
    Klaatu warns that there is only one way to save mankind.
    “The only way I see to stop the threat would be to destroy Bush’s brain,” he says. “To tell you the truth, he doesn’t seem to use it very much anyway.”
If you think the Second Coming of the Messiah is a big deal, wait till you read this March 15, 2009 story...
Miracle births have experts saying:
Octomom is the new Virgin Mary
By Peter Paul Matthews
Religion correspondent

WHITTIER, CALIF.--A diverse group of religious scholars, astrologers, metaphysicians and marketing professionals have all come to the same stunning conclusion -- Octomom Nadya Suleman is a modern-day Virgin Mary!
Octo-Mom and baby
Octo-Madonna and baby

    Suleman, 33, shocked the world when she gave birth to octuplets on Jan. 26 and, miraculously, they all survived.
    A growing number of spiritual experts now believe the infants fulfill the Messianic prophesy that heralds the Kingdom of God on Earth, or at least Whittier, Calif., where Suleman and her brood live.

    “This could be a transformative event,” declares Colton Strangeways, professor emeritus at the Burbank Divinity School. “Imagine not only the Second Coming, but the Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth and so on.”

    Another religious scholar notes several similarites between Suleman and the Madonna.

davinci's Madonna Litta
Madonna and Child
da Vinci -1490
    “Having conceived through in vitro fertilization, Nadya is like a 21st Century virgin mother,” says Martin Priestley, best-selling author of Christianity for Dummies. “And the fact that she has been nearly homeless and relies on the generosity of others parallels the baby Jesus being born in a manger and receiving gifts from the Magi.”
    Priestley also points out that there is an uncanny likeness between Suleman and the Madonna as depicted in art through the ages.
    "I now call her the Octo-Madonna," he proclaims.

    Astrologer Regan Lear notes that on the evening Suleman’s octuplets were born, the “morning star” of
Raphael Small Cowper Madonna
Small Cowper Madonna
Raphael - 1505
Venus was the brightest it’s been for decades.
    “Just like the star of Bethlehem, there was an unusually brilliant presence in the sky that night,” says Lear. “The stars were definitely aligned to mark something very special.”

Famed numerologist and Nostradamus expert J. Lee Klontz explains that when you add up the birth numbers for the octuplets -- 1 for the month of January, 26 for the day, 2009 for the year -- you get 2036. And when those digits are added together it equals the mystical number of 11. Multiply that by eight, for the number of infants, and the sum is 88.
“In the 88th quatrain of the final installment of Nostradamus’ The Prophecies, it is written, “...the Saviors appear in the New World from the Virgin Bride, her teats lacking in number for her bountiful pride...” notes Klontz.
    And multi-media advertising exec Joe Wisenheimer,
Sassoferrato Madonna and Child
Madonna and Child
Sassoferrato - c.1650
of Madison Avenue’s BS Group, adds that Suleman and her brood have Messianic marketing potential.
    “If a tortilla chip that vaguely resembles Christ can sell for thousands on eBay,
think what eight little Messiahs could be worth,” says Wisenheimer.
    But others believe the miracle births cannot be measured in dollars.

    “Let’s face it, between the international economic meltdown, global warming, terrorism in an age of catastrophic weaponry and the proliferation of reality shows on TV, the world's really in the toilet,” says Strangeways. “It’s clear that things are so bad one Messiah isn’t enough -- we need eight!”

On Jan. 1, 2010, the Cosmic Chronicle broke this story about a limitless supply of clean energy...
Green energy breakthrough
Engineer taps the power of stress
By Xavier Valdez
Environmental correspondent
-- In a groundbreaking discovery that could render fossil fuels obsolete, an electrical engineer has figured out a way to convert stress into energy!
    “This is a transformative discovery,” proclaims International Energy Agency spokesman Adam Powers.  “If we can corral the power of stress, we can have a limitless supply of energy that is cheap, clean and readily available wherever women are found.”
    Dr. P.H. Barnum, an electrical engineering professor at the famed Massachusetts Institute of Technology, says he got the brilliant idea of tapping the energy of stress while out for a Sunday drive with his wife Bertha.

Barnum and bra
Barnum works on prototype bra
    “All I wanted to do was relax after a tough week of teaching a bunch of smartass nerds about quantum mechanics and Bertha kept stressing out over everything from global warming to the leaky toilet in our guest bathroom,” recalls Barnum. “I thought, ‘If I could harness the energy of the stress that wives generate, I could save the world!’”
    Barnum, 42, got to work in the lab, and within a scant six months developed a prototype brassiere that, when worn normally, absorbs stress, converts it to electromagnetic energy and stores it in a lightweight proton battery cell.
    “Converting stress into electromagnetic energy was the easy part,” says Barnum. “But fusing the network of nanotransformers into a bra was tough because I’m not a very good seamstress.”
    Barnum plans to expand his StressDress line of undergarments to include panties, girdles and thongs and says it will revolutionize the energy industry.
    “When in contact with the skin, it’s surprisingly efficient,” he says. “For example, a badly broken fingernail can create enough stress in a woman to power a 55-inch plasma TV for an hour. And a visit by a mother-in-law could probably provide enough energy to run an entire household for a week.
    “Dress for stress and save the world!”

Arizona tragically lost its most heralded anti-
immigration champion in an Aug. 15, 2008 shocker...
Murderous spacemen on the loose
Sheriff Joe vaporized by illegal aliens
By Jim McNutt
National correspondent
MARICOPA COUNTY, ARIZ. – Tough guy Sheriff Joe Arpaio, famous for his no-holds-barred pursuit of undocumented immigrants, tragically lost his life when he tried to arrest a pair of illegal aliens -- from outer space!
“I warned Sheriff Joe that maybe we should let these guys go, seeing how they didn’t look like your typical border-hopping beaners,” says deputy sheriff Wayne P. Kuntz. “But he just wouldn’t listen.”
Sheriff Joe
Not so tough after all -- the late Sheriff Joe
    Arpaio, 76, and deputies tracked down the aliens near the U.S.-Mexican border in southern Arizona. The duo appeared to be collecting cacti and other desert flora. When confronted by the sheriff, the earless aliens didn’t speak but somehow projected their thoughts, explaining that they were from a planet called Bambutu and came in peace, according to the police report.
“At that point,” Kuntz recalls, “Sheriff Joe says, ‘Bambutu, Dorkutu -- I don’t care if they come straight from Buckingham Palace. If they don’t got green cards, they’re going to jail.’”
The sheriff reportedly drew his handgun. Sadly, that was the last thing he did.
    “One of the aliens just pointed at Sheriff Joe, and the next thing I know Sheriff Joe is no longer there,” says Kuntz. “All that was left of him was some brownish slime on the ground, kind of like a wad of spit tobacco.”      
Police sketch of the suspects

    It was a sudden and inglorious end for Arpaio, who dubbed himself “America’s Toughest Sheriff” after taking office in 1992 and instituting a series of draconian measures in the Maricopa County Jail. Among other things, he made the male inmates wear pink underwear, fed them green baloney sandwiches and – talk about your cruel and unusual punishment -- piped Newt Gringrich speeches through the jailhouse intercom. On the plus side, he started female chain gangs.
    Arpaio’s department also boasted of rounding up more than 15,000 illegal immigrants. But the two aliens who got away are still on the lam and considered “four-armed and dangerous.”
President George W. Bush praised Arpaio and vowed to track down the murderous fugitives from Bambutu.
“Sheriff Joe was a true American hero who certainly didn’t deserve to wind up looking like a wad of spit tobacco,” said Bush. “We’ll go the ends of the universe to hunt down the evildoers responsible for this cowardly act.
    "I just hope they’re not in Pakistan.”

The Cosmic Chronicle revealed the stunning truth behind the US Air crash in the Hudson River on Feb. 1, 2009...
Diabolical al-Qaida plot
Terrorist geese brought down plane
By Shlomo Garcia
National correspondent

WASHINGTON, D.C.--The flock of geese that forced the pilot of U.S. Airways Flight 1549 to make a dramatic emergency landing in the frigid Hudson River were trained by al-Qaida terrorists!
US AIR Flight 1549
U.S. Airways Flight 1549

    That’s the shocking conclusion of the Department of Homeland Security after a joint investigation with the Federal Aviation Administration and National Transportation Safety Board, says a high-placed government source.
    “This really has everyone freaked out,” admits the source. “If terrorists can train birds to do their bidding, we could be at their mercy.”
Terrorist-trained goose
Terrorist-trained goose

    That chilling prospect gained credibility when the Arab news network Al Jazeera released an audio tape of al-Qaida deputy operations chief Ayman al-Zawahiri proclaiming: “What’s bad for the goose is good for al-Qaida!”

    And a shocking photo of an al-Qaida-trained goose has surfaced, showing the bird wearing a keffiyeh-style headdress popular with suicide bombers and other terrorists.
In fact, the fanatical fowl seem to have the same disregard for civilian life as their human counterparts.
The U.S. Airways Airbus A320 with 155 people on board lost power to both engines when two geese flew directly into the engines shortly after takeoff from New York’s LaGuardia Airport on Jan. 15.
Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger
'Sully' Sullenberger
    “Those birds were like kamikazes,” heroic captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger tells the Cosmic Chronicle in his first interview since miraculously landing the plane safely. “I could see they had a crazed look in their beady little eyes as they broke from formation and came right at us.”
Famed ornithologist Dr. Billy Rubin notes that geese -- especially ganders -- can be easily trained.
“Like most male creatures, they’ll do anything for food and sex,” explains Rubin.
Dick Cheney hunting
Cheney hunting geese

The Obama administration is keeping the investigation under wraps due to its sensitive nature, but former vice president Dick Cheney notes that terrorist-trained birds bringing down aircraft presents the biggest national security threat since George W. Bush was elected commander-in-chief. And he believes there is just one way to deal with the problem.
    “We have to eliminate all the geese,” says Cheney. “If you own a shotgun, this is the time to use it!”

On July 15, 2008, we were the first newspaper to announce a truly incredible honor for Merck...
Gardasil report called 'work of genius'
 Merck & Co. wins Nebula Award
By Dr. Frank N. Stein
Medical correspondent
WHITEHOUSE STATION, N.J. -- Merck & Co.'s blockbuster report on the so-called cervical cancer vaccine Gardasil  has won the prestigious Nebula Award for science fiction writing!
Merck's Gardasil vaccine
In praise, panelists from the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America noted an “effective use of magical realism" in the way the pharrmaceutical giant analyzed the drug's clinical trials. They also lauded a “surprising plot twist at the end,” where Gardasil is declared safe and effective despite side effects including  seizures, nausea, fainting, difficulty swallowing, fever, chills, hives, boils, lice, swarms of locusts, fiery hail from heaven and the death of  first-born daughters.
    “The fantasy created by Merck is so realistic, state legislatures across the nation have begun debating whether to mandate the vaccine for girls as young as nine years old,” says Nebula Award panelist Archibald McLandish. “I haven’t seen such blind devotion since L. Ron Hubbard came up with Scientology.”
Merck's report  was so convincing that approval sailed through the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in near record time – even though the vaccine neither prevents nor cures all types of cervical cancer, its long-term effects remain unknown and -- these are real numbers, folks -- the study of 20,541 women included a scant 1,121 girls under the age of 16, the primary target-group of Merck’s ongoing marketing campaign.

“It’s really a work of genius,” gushes FDA commissioner Dr. Andrew von Eschenbach about the report. “Research on the younger subjects was only followed up for 18 months -- and yet Merck has everyone rushing to inoculate their daughters.”
Girls as young as nine are  recommended for inoculation

    Wall Street analyst Rosie Days notes that the report writers have provided a much needed financial boost to the company. Merck has been reeling since its 2004 recall of Vioxx, the arthritis pain medication that permanently relieved the symptoms of some patients by causing fatal heart attacks and strokes.
    “With Vioxx lawsuits coming out their ying-yang, Merck desperately needed a cash cow -- and Gardasil, at $360 a pop for its series of three shots, will have them mooing all the way to the bank,” predicts Days. “Even though less than 4,000 American women out of 150 million die from cervical cancer annually, Merck expects to rake in about $3 billion a year from the vaccine.
    “The Nebula Award is fitting because those numbers are out of this worldl!”

The Cosmic Chronicle's top lifestyle story featured
a new dating service - for aliens - on May 1, 2009...
aHarmony makes debut
Online matchmaker taps alien market
By Seymour Weiner
Lifestyles correspondent
PASADENA, CALIF.--Internet match-making giant eHarmony has launched a new website catering to lonely aliens!
The site, called aHarmony, offers relationship services to the thousands of extraterrestrials clandestinely living on Earth, most of them involved with research projects and/or plots to take over the planet.
“There are a lot of unattached aliens living amongst us, and it’s exceedingly hard for them to connect,” says eHarmony founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren.
Dr. Neil Clark Warren
Dr. Neil Clark Warren

But now, Warren adds, these visitors from far-flung worlds can find lasting love through aHarmony’s patented Alien Natural Unification System [ANUS].
“One look at a client’s ANUS is all it takes for us to find a perfect match,” crows Warren, who is rumored to be an alien himself with antennae that only other aliens and very progressive humans can see.
Like eHarmony, aHarmony requires participants to fill out a questionnaire to determine compatibility.
Sample questions include:
I have: a) brown eyes; b) blue eyes; c) green eyes; d) black eyes; e) three eyes
    Finding a partner of the same species is: a) imperative; b) very important; c) important; d) not important; e) irrelevant so long as I can mate with it
My ideal partner has: a) beauty; b) intelligence; c) personality; d) super powers; e) tentacles.
The questionnaire focuses more on sexual compatibility  than its sister site, eHarmony, because of the wide variety of reproductive methods aliens practice.
Lonely alien
Looking for love
    “Some of these species never mate while others never stop, kind of like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie,” explains Warren.
    Since the aliens must remain undetected while on Earth, security is also a vital issue.
    “Imagine what would happen if the Men in Black could hack our system,” says Warren, who adds that having an alien matchmaking service also benefits humans.
“As you may imagine, an alien in love would be less likely to wreak havoc on Earth than a sexually frustrated one.
    “So if you’re an alien looking for love, submit your ANUS to us and you’ll soon be on your way to a romance that’s truly out of this world!”

On Aug. 15, 2009, one of the world's most evil corporations made a blockbuster announcement...
Frankenstein named as Monsanto
spokesman for new line of GMOs
By Chuck Ponzi
Business correspondent
Monsanto logo
ST. LOUIS, MO. – In a bold campaign to promote its most ambitious environmental nightmare to date, agriculture biotech giant Monsanto has named Frankenstein to serve as spokesman for its new line of genetically modified food products.
    “We’re pleased to have this icon of bioengineering onboard,” proclaims Monsanto director of public relaations P.J. Goebbels III. “Considering that our genetically modified organisms have informally come to be known as ‘franken-foods,’ we believe this to be a perfect fit.”
    Frankenstein, the famed 191-year-old monster, munched some boysenstrawberries as he was introduced to a crowd of reporters, photographers and pitchfork-wielding peasants at Monsanto’s home base in St. Louis.
“Aaahhh-aaahhh,” he said. “Aaaaaahhhhhh.”
When asked why Monsanto chose a spokesman who can only grunt, Goebbels replied: “He may not be the most eloquent speaker around, but he represents everything our company stands for -- fear, destruction, domination, aberrancy -- and besides all that, he’s green, like money.”
Electric-blue oranges
Electric-blue oranges
    Along with genetically modified organisms [GMOs], Monsanto is a leading producer of carcinogenic products including pesticides, herbicides, bovine growth hormone and Washington lobbyists.
    But the Frankenstein campaign will focus on Monsanto’s ever-expanding line of GMOs, which now include blue oranges, bruise-proof bananas and grapes that grow in their own plastic wrappings.
No-bruise bananas
Bruise-proof banana
    “Kids are more likely to drink OJ if it’s electric-blue rather than boring orange,” says Goebbels, great- grandson of the infamous Nazi propaganda chief. “And just a couple of Hercules beetle genes are all you need to toughen up banana peels.
    “Meantime, grapes growing their own packaging will save on costs, which we’ll pass on to all of our consumers -- or at least those who buy our stock.”
Plastic-wrapped grapes
Pre-packaged grapes
    Other products in development include baking potatoes with aluminum foil skin, no cry onions, wax-coated cucumbers and peppers, and waterproof grains for making cereal that doesn’t get soggy in milk.
“We also plan to bring back red pistachio nuts, but without the dye that rubs off on your fingers,” says Goebbels. “It may not be nice to fool Mother Nature, but it is very profitable!”
    Adds Frankenstein: "Uuuuhhhhh. Aaaaahhhhhh!"

We reported why the New Orleans Saints couldn't lose the Super Bowl on Feb. 1, 2010 -- before the big game...
Special Super Bowl report
Catholic saints boost New Orleans 
By Jacques Strapp
Sports correspondent
LAS VEGAS, NEV. -- In a stunning turnaround, oddsmakers are favoring the New Orleans Saints over the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLIV after it was revealed that the Catholic saints are rooting for their gridiron namesakes!
St. Christopher
Saint Christopher
    “We had Indy by four and a half points until we got word that the saints were backing the Saints,” says Las Vegas bookie Jimmy the Greek Orthodox.     “Lord knows, you don’t want to bet against a bunch of miracle-workers -- at least not without points.”
    Divine powers certainly seemed to be at work in the NFC championship game, where the Saints were outplayed by the Minnesota Vikings but still managed to eke out a 31-28 victory in the overtime nail-biter.
    St. Christopher, the patron saint of travelers and turnovers, helped keep New Orleans in the game by forcing the Vikings into five giveaways to the Saints’ one.
    And despite being picked apart for 310 yards by Minnesota’s 40-year-old quarterback Brett Favre, the
St. Joan of Arc
Saint Joan of Arc
Saints secondary came through when it needed big plays, thanks to the support of St. Joan of Arc, patron saint of soldiers and zone defenses.
    “We couldn’t get a break,” moaned the Vikings dumbfounded coach Brad Childress. “It was like there was some kind of supernatural force that kept the ball bouncing the wrong way for us.”
    Meantime, St. Lucy, the patron saint of eyes, worked some of her magic on the referees late in the game as several close calls went New Orleans’ way.
    “The refs seemed blind to late hits on Brett Favre throughout the game,” notes Cardinal Giovanni Gonadi, the Vatican’s emissary to the National Football League. “And the calls in overtime even had His Holiness chanting: ‘Who dat? Who dat? Who dat say gonna beat dem Saints!’”
    Of course, the whole season has been nothing short of a miracle for New Orleans, and it’s all been orchestrated by the team’s fiery leader, quarterback Drew Brees. Vatican insiders confide that Brees could be up for sainthood himself if he wins the Super Bowl.
Dree Brees
Saint Drew?
    “You only need two miracles to be eligible for beautification,” explains the insider. “Just getting the Saints to the Super Bowl is one, and if they win, we could be looking at the new St. Drew.
    “Pope Benedict the XIV is so excited he’s changing his name to Benedict XLIV for Super Sunday. As far as the Church goes, the Saints making the Super Bowl is the best thing to happen since the Immaculate Reception!”
No doubt our sweetest story was a Sept. 1, 2009 feature about a fantastic isle somewhere in the South Pacific...
Castaway balloons to 490 lbs.
Man stranded on ‘desserted’ island
By Ted Mange
International correspondent

Simon Whipple
Simon Whipple
BORA BORA -- Many a castaway has been marooned on a deserted island -- but one British man spent 18 months on a desserted South Pacific isle teeming with all kinds of sweets.
    “It was an incredible place,” says Simon Whipple, who was on a solo round-the-world voyage when his 37-foot sailboat sank in high seas in March 2008. “But if I spent another day there, I surely would have burst!”

Candy apple tree
Candy apple tree
    Whipple, 27, was a lean 5-foot-10, 180-pound rugby player from Manchester before being stranded on a fantastical uncharted island in French Polynesia filled with the most incredible assortmentof delectible desserts. 
    “Cheesecake grew out of the ground like mushrooms, and there were licorice vines, candy apple trees, rock
Desserted isle
Pixe Stix beach
candy cliffs, palm trees with giant gumballs, a Pixie Stix powder beach, chocolate milk lagoon and chocolate rabbits all over the place,” saysWhipple. “In fact, there was chocolate everywhere. I ate so much of it I actually started crapping Tootsie Rolls.”
    Whipple eventually piled on more than 300 pounds.

    “Everything was so tasty, and there was nothing else to do but eat,” he recalls. “At one point I built a little shack out of Pez bricks and taffy, but I wound up eating that, too.”

    With his weight pushing 500 pounds, the corpulent castaway finally decided to do something about it. He built a raft out of Lifesavers and rode the currents into a shipping lane. After three days, his bulk showed up on the radar of a passing freighter and the crew hauled him aboard with a cargo winch.
Chocolate milk lagoon
Chocolate milk lagoon

Despite the ordeal, Whipple says he’s happy to be alive and anxious to get back into decent shape. But he’s dreading one aspect of civilization.
    “All those sweets and I didn’t have a toothbrush,” he moans. “I’m definitely not looking forward to my next visit to the dentist!”
For more past issues of the Cosmic Chronicle, check out the Archive

Editor's Note: New publishing schedule
Gary Greenberg, Editor-in=chief
We've been bringing you new issues of the Cosmic Chronicle every two weeks for two years, but due to a galactic recession we've been  forced to cut back on our award-winning news-gathering staff.  The result is that we'll only be able to publish one issue per month in the future. But look for special Extra editions from time to time.
Gary Greenberg

Did you know...
It's estimated that between 60% and 80% of all cancers, neurological disorders and mental conditions are a direct result of chemicals in our air, water and food.

So what can YOU do about it?

Use Isagenix -- the world's best supplement
Cleanse your body, lose weight and feel great!
For more info, click on the logo
Isagenix logo
The Cosmic Cafe

Joe Bergeron

Our featured artist, Joe Bergeron
Joe started doing space art after getting a summer job at a planetarium and has since illustrated books for the likes of sci-fi legend Isaac Asimov.

Click the image above to see
 his spectacular work.

Make a friend's day:
Forward him or her or it the link to this issue of the Cosmic Chronicle!

If you want to subscribe, just fill in the form below.



Don't worry -- your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you the Cosmic Chronicle.
Be sure to visit the
Cosmic Chronicle Archive

To travel to the Cosmic Cafe's home page,
 hop on the flying saucer!

UFO spinning