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Cosmic Chronicle
News you won't find anywhere else Vol 1, Issue 14 -- 12.15.2008
Somali pirates hijack alien ship
By Ace Sweeney
Intergalactic correspondent

Somali pirates
HARARDHERE, SOMALIA--Somali pirates off the coast of East Africa have captured their most ambitious prize yet -- an alien spaceship!
    And it could be their biggest payday ever.

    “They’ve been reaping millions of dollars for ordinary freig
hters and tankers, so imagine the ransom they could get for an intergalactic ship like this,” says Branford Solis, Interpol’s East African bureau chief. “Then again, these boneheads may be endangering the whole planet by messing with a technology-advanced alien race.
    “Only time will tell.”

    The pirates were cruising in the Gulf of Aden on Dec. 13 when the alien ship plunged into the sea, an eyewitness tells the Cosmic Chronicle. Although the spacecraft didn’t appear to be seriously damaged, there were no signs of activity. So the Somali pirates towed it back to their lawless stronghold in Harardhere.

Pirates & UFO
Somali pirates towing their latest prize
    The Somalis tried to open the open the alien craft with everything from machetes to a rocket launcher and nothing worked, although some spillage of the forbidden local brew, rotgoot al-kohl, did manage to tarnish the otherwise unblemished finish.
    Intergalactic space travel experts believe that  the craft's occupants probably perished during their journey or upon impact.

    “It’s also possible that they may be in some kind of suspended animation or just unwilling to emerge from the safety of their seemingly impenetrable ship in such a hostile environment,” notes renowned astrophysicist Dr. Ivan Suess. “Maybe they’re just shy, or sly, or even a spy, oh my!”

Pirate leader
Yahoodi Doodi
    Somali pirate leader Yahoodi Doodi says they plan to ransom the spacecraft -- to the highest bidder on eBay.
    “The Americans, Chinese and Russians are apparently very interested because the spaceship represents a fount of advanced technology,” says international business consultant  Hal E. Burton. “Disney, Steven Spielberg, Richard Branson, the Arab emirate of Dubai, the city of Roswell, N.M., and David Bowie are also said to be interested.

    “Even in this economy the ship could fetch billions.”

    But Interpol’s Solis warns the cost could be even greater.

    “Let’s put it this way,” he says. “If the real owners decide to come after it, I wouldn’t worry about the diminishing value of your 401-K. We're talking Armageddon.”

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The Cosmic Cafe
Ronny Hakaly
Our featured artist:
Ronny Haklay
Israeli-born Ronny is a globetrotting spray paint space art master who believes in the concept of a world
without borders.

Click the image above to see
 some of Ronny's captivating work.

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